Bart Bass may be able to fool the FBI but he has never had to face off against Blair Waldorf and her bitches.

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I don't want to be safe. I want to be with you.

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I would never be that cruel to you...on purpose.

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I have been cordial to you for the last 52 minutes. Do you have any idea the psychological torture that I've endured being nice to you?

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Do you think this is the first time I've entrapped someone with prostitutes?

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He has too many PhDs. They cancel each other out and make him a moron.

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I don't understand. How am I to become an icon of style and taste if I can only where a burkha?

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You're back! I thought I'd lost you to the land of pole-dancing classes and gluten-free foods.

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Aren't you done out there? Los Angeles is a plastic surgery layover, not somewhere you live.

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I'm the best of the best. I'm Blair Waldorf.

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Destiny is for losers. It's just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.

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Guess I must have some undiagnosed brain injury. 'Cause I stupidly thought that this fake friendship might be real.

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Here's my advice. Have a little faith, and if that doesn't work, have a lot of mimosas.

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Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist.